Punchy Pete’s court appearance

27th November 2018 by  in The Dex Files

My good friend Punchy Pete – so called because he’s a Sarf Landahna with the kind of voice that could make reading a love sonnet sound like a declaration of war – is up in court next week to plead for his licence.

He’s normally a pretty steady driver, but he’s fallen foul of late-night-roadwork-average-speed madness. Coming home very, very late – frankly he was lucky the road was open as they always seem to be shut for work when I need to go anywhere at 1am – he forgot himself and just whistled through a 40-mph average stretch at a normal-for-motorways 76mph. Silly boy.

His van was the only vehicle on the road. Nobody was working in the roadworks. Indeed, he says it was so dark that he didn’t even realise there were roadworks beside the road.

But he’s facing losing his licence. So he’s going to throw himself on the mercy of the magistrates and beg for his licence. I’m almost tempted to go and watch, to see if, finally, he can ask nicely for something without making it sound like he’s offering someone outside for a fight.

Hope he gets away with it.

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