First one of the season

5th December 2018 by  in The Dex Files

Yes, last night was the first Christmas party of the year.

Not mine, thankfully (that’s the joy of being self-employed: if I buy myself a mince pie after 5pm I can call it a Christmas party and write the tax off as staff entertaining). Or one of my clients, where I’d have to put in an appearance and try not to look like the Grinch.

No, last night’s was Number Two Son’s work do – but in a posh hotel that was nearer our house than his. So of course he arranged to stay with us – and which parents would refuse their offspring a bed for the night?

Let me tell you: clever parents. Parents who anticipate said offspring falling out of a taxi at 2am, knocking pots over and then puking into a flowerbed. Before waking everyone up because he’s too pissed to be able to work the lock.

If he still believed in Santa, I’d tell him his name was on the naughty list.

Instead I woke him up at 6am and made him get his stuff together in a hurry and took him and his hangover to the station on the back of the GTR at belly-flipping speeds.

The state of him just reminded me that Christmas parties are always bad for your health

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